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Do you have the skills to resolve conflicts in your organization?
When you think about it, you realize you spend a lot of time working with our colleagues. Communication and teamwork to achieve common goals are everyday things, and getting there in a stressful, demanding and moving environment can clearly cause friction.
It's no wonder then that conflict resolution skills at work are essential to maintaining business success and growth.
So, we have to ask ourselves ... do we have the necessary resources and skills to manage the conflicts that inevitably occur in the company?
Here are some ideas to keep in mind.
The true role of conflict management
A conflict resolution practitioner is much more than someone who puts a bandage on the problem. The goal is not to find a quick fix that only scratches the surface of the problem. And many managers tend to do exactly that because of lack of time or because they do not have the skills to deal with the conflict so that there is lasting improvement.
Ensuring that all parties feel respected, understood and safe inevitably requires time and energy. Yet this is not the hardest part of conflict resolution.
Recognizing the differences in the personalities of group members and realizing the strength that these differences imply is a process that can sometimes be overlooked in conflict resolution. And this is doubly the case for those who assume that disagreement occurs because of external factors such as tasks, background or context.
While these factors can not be ignored, discovering the characteristics of personalities (and their potential incompatibility) is fundamental to conflict resolution.
Understand that conflict can be a good thing
Being effective in the area of conflict resolution means having confidence that this process will be constructive, useful and a learning experience.
If we see the conflict as a destructive force, a waste of time or a wound that must be riddled as quickly as possible, it can be very difficult to remain optimistic about the result. On the other hand, if it is well managed, the conflict can lead to a greater understanding of oneself and others, as well as some appreciation for our differences. I'm not saying it's easy, but if it's well managed, the conflict can lead to conflict can lead to good things.
Manage conflicts quickly
Those who avoid conflict, push back or claim that they do not exist tend to think that they contribute to maintaining a climate of peace. It's simple: it sometimes seems easier than attacking the conflict, precisely. This can cause an accumulation of frustration and demotivation, as well as an intensification of the problem.
When one decides not to approach the conflict, the source may become less and less clear with time. This obscures judgment, provokes resentment and creates animosity, even if it is done unconsciously sometimes.
One wonders therefore, "why did the conflict first appear? ". And when one is no longer able to answer that question, the resolution becomes all the more difficult.
So, when possible, approach the person or people involved in the conflict from the beginning, before everything gets worse.
Be affirmative
Some people do not really understand what it means to have an affirmative personality. They can interpret it as something negative, or even aggressive. And even if there are several degrees of affirmative personality, having some manifestation of this trait shows confidence, self-confidence, ability to express one's opinion and disagreement, ability to defend one's rights, courage to express oneself and the ability to clearly state one's expectations.
Having a certain level of affirmation makes it possible to make others understand when you do not agree or when you have an opinion to share. No one is forced to play the riddle and everyone can work knowing that this person will share what they have to say when necessary.
If you mediate conflict resolution, being assertive can help you lead the conversation and take charge of the situation. And this, even if strong personalities are involved!
Recognize your own vulnerability and emotions
Whether you are directly involved in a disagreement or you are the stakeholder, you may bring your own emotional baggage with you. This can include:
your past experiences
sensitivity to certain subjects
be influenced by a stressful event unrelated to the current situation
In fact, it can be any element that could affect your emotional state and lead you to be less objective.
So, having emotional intelligence can help you recognize, understand and evaluate how your emotions and those of others could potentially influence the conflict and its resolution.
When we let emotions control us, this can lead to bad decisions or regrets. And sometimes that need for emotional superiority can make bad decisions happen.
Do not lose sight of what works well
In conflict resolution, there is often a tendency to focus on what needs to change and what should NOT be done next time.
We usually focus on the problem, which is clearly an important step in the process, but not necessarily the entirety of what needs to be done. It is important to pay attention to what works well between the parties involved. It is also important to remember moments (even if they seem insignificant) when collaboration and understanding were at the rendezvous.
Then you have to look at the context of those moments more closely;
what were we working on?
how was it done?
who was doing what?
specifically, what was pleasant when there was less animosity in the air?
This can help both parties realize that conflict resolution is indeed possible! It can also help to understand that tension has not always been present, as well as focus on behaviors that have been effective in the past.
Understanding what conflict resolution really means, recognizing that conflict can be a good thing and managing it from the start are skills that can prevent and reduce prolonged tension in your organization. Being able to be relatively affirmative, develop an emotional awareness and allow oneself to divert attention to what has worked in the past can also be very effective in terms of conflict resolution. With so many personalities coming together at work, it is imperative to make a conscious effort to see the forces that hide within these differences.
It's never too late to start! Do you have the innate abilities to resolve conflict?